I think of Paul, who radiates a boyish innocence which is completely antithetical to his real nature. In truth, he has the proclivities of a pass-around-the-party bottom, which makes for a great time in the bedroom (or the toilet cubicle of a Grade II listed building we fucked in).
If he wanted to, he could have a prolific porn career as a fun size boy: Paul has a cub-like, compact build that brings out the Daddy in me. He makes me want to hold him tight and fuck him firmly but lovingly while I whisper "good boy" in his ear.
I think of Ben too. He lives in a hip city in another country and is a little older than me. My second erotic story on Testosterotica was based loosely on him (which he knows). Ben has the air of an expert: He’s confident with his hands, knows how to take control, and how to flip you into collapsed doggy for a deep, cervix-quivering pounding.
There’s something of a brotherly playfighting element to our sex (I know – the hegemonic masculinity of it all). I get an endorphin rush when he rains thuddy blows across my shoulders while I suck him off, or feel the deep thump of his fist colliding with my chest.
And then there’s Joel, who I had my first cruising experience with. That night was a sensory-rich rush, and the memories are a tapestry of feeling. The atmosphere was electric – carefree and charged with a let-it-all-go erotic energy.
Imagine this: the cool evening breeze caressing your exposed, erect dick, with your pants bunched up half-way down your thighs; a flash of flesh revealed briefly by torchlight then disappeared again into darkness; your nakedness clothed only by the night; adrenaline coursing through your veins at the thought of being discovered; and the sound of heavy breathing from the shadows.
I love fucking trans men.
Though I must confess I’m not a strictly T4T f*g – I’d be lying if I said I don’t regularly enjoy letting cis men hit it too. But I recognise the appeal of T4T encounters: there's the effortlessness and comfort of fucking a body that mirrors your own and the relief of being understood without need for translation, explanation or justification.
Just gay boys doing gay shit together.
I hope that's what Irresistible Damage can offer: a space to simply be messy, horny trans f*ggots. No glossaries to clarify terms for cis readers (who are welcome, by the way). No "it's valid to be trans because…" And certainly no self-censorship to make us more palatable to either allies or enemies.
I think a lot of us trans men/mascs in some way or another wrestle with what it means to embody a healthy, non-toxic masculinity. I think this is important, but I want Irresistible Damage to be a space for those equally important unwholesome masculinities: masculinities that are queer, f*ggy, filthy, unafraid and subversive.
You might have already sensed a subversive energy from the name of this little Substack magazine. It's a playful nod to Abigail Shrier's book Irreversible Damage, in which she promotes the debunked and medically unrecognised theory that transmasculinity is some sort of damaging social contagion among young women and girls... To Abigail I say, if we trans men/mascs are damaging ourselves, then let us do it beautifully, sexily and with a little style!
Life is too short to argue with ideologues - let us spend it living. After another deadly year for trans people across the world, we owe it to ourselves to hold more tightly to those things that enliven us, and to each other. I am sure every trans person reading this will know someone lost too soon. To those names on my heart, and on yours dear reader, I dedicate Irresistible Damage.
May we live, dance and lust that little bit harder in honour of them.
May we live, dance and lust that little bit harder in honour of them.
You’re probably wondering what exactly can you expect from Irresistible Damage over the next year? Think essays, opinion, hot takes, real life experiences, interviews, features, sexy photo submissions, guidance from our very own transmasc agony aunt, astrology (naysayers, please indulge me on this) and of course, erotica.
It’s here that I come to you with my proverbial cap in hand: if you believe in this project, would you consider becoming a paid subscriber? I appreciate that we’re living in tough economic times, and our community is often at the brunt of financial pressure and insecurity. Which is why, if you can spare it, I’m asking for paid subscriptions – the money will go towards compensating the trans writers and contributors to Irresistible Damage. I want to see trans writers and creatives paid for their work.
The majority of content in Irresistible Damage will be freely available, as I think this is an important space for transf*gs and should remain as open and public as possible. But eventually, I want to add in bonus content as a special thank you to paid subscribers: a monthly letter from the editor (giving you the inside scoop on what’s up next, what sexy adventures I’ve been up to and what’s on my mind) and Daddy’s Bedtime Stories (audio of me reading a steamy piece of erotica).
If signing up as a paid subscriber is out of the question, do you have a cis friend who’d be willing to gift you a paid subscription? They can do so here:
And to any cis allies reading this – do you have a transmasc friend you’d like to gift a subscription to?
If no-one comes to mind, would you be able to donate a year’s paid subscription that a transmasc reader of Irresistible Damage can enjoy? Every donation helps. You can do so here:
Thank you for reading this far, and a happy new year! More titillating content coming soon friends, fuckbuddies and f*gs.
xxx